Her brain exploded right in front of me, and all I could think was “So?”

Yesterday me and two coworkers had to mind a special Earth Day booth at Pixar headquarters in Emeryville. If you don’t know, Pixar Studios is a veritable barracks almost fascist in the way it protects its propriety information from public eyes. We got the third degree at the gate even though we were invited; we were allowed to stand only in the giant open entry hall; our name badge actually said “A stranger from the outside!” on it.

I guess I understand: they don’t want any of their storylines leaking. (Up next Wall – E, a movie I am dying to see.) Rumor has it that there is no possible way, even using a telescope, that you could see inside the building from anywhere outside the gates. And even so, it’s STILL not more protected than Skywalker Ranch, and the new Lucasfilm buildings in the Presidio.

So we’re doing the booth, blah blah blah. The Earth Day thing is pretty boring since we don’t really fit in with the tenor the other booths are creating with their free energy saving lightbulbs and simple green and chico bags take-aways.

PG&E, California’s energy provider, was giving away their stuff (books on how to be green, foot-shaped recycled paper with wildflower seeds in it so you can plant it) IN A PLASTIC BAG! Then when people didn’t want to take it because IT IS FUCKING PLASTIC, the PG&E people would respond:

“It’s biodegradable! Made of cornstarch!”

And under my breath I’d say “Idjiots!” (in a British accent) Don’t they know everything and nothing is biodegradable, that it’s all about the way you throw something out? Cornstarch in a landfill buried under the ground will be the same fifty years from now when you dig it up. Unless you are tearing it into small pieces and composting it, it’s going nowhere.

So, after we play a little ping pong (yes, they have a game room) and remain fairly bored, we get to talking about how Steve Jobs designed the Pixar compound, then sold it to now proud owner of cash cow Pixar, Disney. And then we get to talking about Disney movies.

Now, everyone I have ever known knows how subtly, unconsciously, and sometimes obviously and unconscionably racist and sexist Disney movies can be. The “bad guys” are always “dark.” The “women” are always “pawns.” Etc.

So I am standing with my co-worker who says,

“The Little Mermaid has been like, my favorite movie for 15 years.”

I nod. “Mmm-hmmm.”

“And I just realized as I was watching it the other day, that she fucking gives up her fins and her family, and her amazing life under the sea for legs so she can be with a man!”

I nod. Laugh a little. No kidding yo, right?

“No, PWADJ, she likes, is totally beholden to a man!”

I keep nodding.

“Like, she gives everything up! I just can’t even believe it!”

So I say “Now, you, a 30 year old woman – it took you that long to see that. Just think about all the little girls watching it, who are subconsciously being brainwashed into making themselves into whatever the man needs!”

“I know!” she shouts. “It can’t be my favorite movie any more!”

As shocking as this revelation was to her, it wasn’t bad enough not to be cured by some hearty Pixar Schwag: Ratatouille canvas bag with a ratat mug, rata notebook, and a DVD of all of Pixar’s short films on it.

So I guess in the end it is okay to give up everything for a man as long as he promises to buy you shit.

Tags: conrnstarch in a landfill is not biodegradable, earth day, pixar studios