Step Right Up! (warning: contests contests contests)

Two weekends ago L and I and our pals went to the Marin County Faire. We ate roasted corn on a stick, a chocolate covered frozen banana on a stick, a hot dog on a stick, and a giant blue raspberry and red cherry shaved ice that could only be described as a Tower to America (red, white, blue and huge that it was). Of course it melted instantly and crashed onto my pal’s leather bag. No one was injured. Not even the bag! And we still had plenty left over to satisfy our need for freezing cold syrups.

After eating, looking at the prize pies and cows and crafts, we played a few midway games. Now, we all know midway games are impossible to win. And it’s not because the games are challenging; it’s because the games can only be won by knowing The Cheat. The cost is ridiculous – $5 bucks for three throws – so you can’t even afford to practice enough to figure out what the winning trick is. You simply have to take your chances and enjoy the thrill of playing, the hope that maybe you will be the lucky one to get it for real…

Writing contests are a lot like this. Costly, with a trick: you never know what exactly it is that’s going to turn the judge’s eye to your work. It’s random, unknowable, disappointing, and thrilling all the same – that is, if you are to be The One who figures out the trick. So step right up, little children, and try your luck. (All these will also be added to my ongoing list(s)!)

Publish your poetry

Astounding Beauty Ruffian Press Chapbook Award: $1K for a 20-page poetry chapbook. $15 bucks to enter, gotta do it by September 30.

Get money for what you’ve already published

Under 35? British? Already published a full-length book of poetry, fiction, or creative non fiction? In the UK? If no, skip to next award. If yes: then have your publisher send a copy of the book into Booktrust for the John Llewellyn Rhys Prize by August 31. You could get five thousand pounds – a lot more in USD, guaranteed, and probably by the due date will be worth even more, so…hop to it. You don’t necessarily have to be living in the UK to win.

I think all y’all know about the Tufts Awards, nevertheless: Kinglsey Tufts $100K award for a mid-career poet, and the Kate Tufts $10K award for a poet with a first book “of genuine promise” (whatever the hell that means) published between Sept. 15 2007 and Sept. 15 2008. Anybody but the poet can enter the book in the contest by sending a lot of copies or it as well as a list of previous publications by Sept. 15.

New York Public Library Young Lions Fiction Award! $10K for a published novel or short story collection by a writer under 35 y/o. Deadline August 25.

Get money cause you live where you live

Delaware writers orange alert! Cash is being thrown at you! Established and Emerging Professional Fellowships of $6 and $3K respectively are given to non student Delaware residents. Deadline August 1.

Et Tu, Illinois? Why, yes PWADJ! Artist Fellowships of $7K alternate between poetry and fiction. This year is poetry! Send recent poetry, proof of residency, and a resume by September 1.

Leeway Foundation grants send a shout out to all those Philadelphia ladies (and transgender people!)! You could get up to $2,500 just for being a poet, fiction or creative non fiction writer! Deadline September 8.

Maryland State Arts Council grants of up to $6K (!) for Merry-Land poets and fiction writers. Deadline July 31. Andale!(The link also has info for New Jersey, Pennsylvania, and Delaware writers as well)

Pennsylvania Council on the Arts Individual Artist Fellowships of $5 to $10K alternating between poets, fiction and creative non fiction writers. This year it’s prose. Which sort of makes no sense since prose isn’t one of the options previously mentioned but I guess what it means is fiction and non fiction are smooshed into the same category. Whatever fair. Deadline August 4.

Ohio Arts Council Individual Excellence Awards of $5 and $10K for Ohio poets fiction and creative nonfiction writers. Deadline Sept. 1.

Wyoming Arts Council Blanchan/Doubelday Memorial Awards of $1k for poetry, fiction and creative non fiction. No entry fee! Due on August 29. Obvy you must be from Wyoming, and for one of them you must be a Wyoming woman. Ooooh.

Win, and go someplace!

Robert Frost Foundation: $1K and an invite to read at the Frost Festival for some poems I imagine would at least need to be in the spirit of Frost. Please don’t beat your wife. Deadline September 15.

Moment Magazine short story contest: $1k and travel expenses to give a reading in En Why Sea (NYC) or Washington DC, or maybe some other undisclosed city…for a story with some Jewish subject matter. Deadline November 14.

These ones kill me: PEN Center USA Emerging Voices Rosenthal Fellowships: $1K and an 8-month mentorship in Los Angeles with a professional writer. HOUSING NOT INCLUDED. Geez, thanks for the award: neither is $1K enough for me to get my ass and my shit out to LA for 8 months, but then when I get there I either have to be independently wealthy or I have to find a job to pay rent and EAT and LA is like, in the top 3 most expensive cities to live in! Idiots. Anyway, if you feel so inclined, or already live in LA, or are independently wealthy, then booyah to you, poet, fiction, or creative non fiction writer: Deadline September 5.

Tags: Contests, poetry, poetry chapbook contest, poetry contests, writing contests